Thursday, December 4, 2008

...thus lamented the spirited old lady

Shaadi hai janam janam ka saath.
[Marriage is a bond that carries on to your future births.]

A very daunting thought already, when u realize you are stuck with a man for not just the rest of this life but even the next few.

For me its almost forbidding because so far, I've had three husbands and am planning to squeeze in a fourth if my hip replacement surgery is successful. [I know what you are thinking and it wasn't that. Read on.]

Much to my consternation I slipped on a rubber duck at my daughter's place. The following ruckus comprised of myself without any clothing lying on my tummy on the bathroom floor while a carpenter [who unhinged the door ], my daughter, son-in-law, three paramedics and my grand-daughter [bless her, she's three and I pray she'll have no memory of this] saw my tushie and a little more. Why on earth couldn't I have fallen unconscious rather than witness the bizarre spectacle is beyond me, but over the years I've noticed...the more embarrassing a situation the bigger the audience.

Anyways, some good and some bad comes of everything. The bad according to me was the extra time during the course of my 30 days of bed rest for introspection. It gives me a guilt conscious for things I'd never have thought of before. The good was of course, all the flowers, cards and chocolates I received from my ardent admirers [have always been surprised at the no. of them] and of course the time I had to think up silly thoughts like this one.

My daughter hunted out the old CD my second husband had got me before we got married [of course after marriage all the thoughtfulness just evaporates]. I popped it into my snazzy laptop [I like to be ahead of my times and am pretty tech savvy. My son-in law-thinks so too. He was flabbergasted when i got WiFi before him].

In went the CD and out came the song: "Janam janam ka saath hai tumhara hamara..."

"CHEESY," I told myself. "How did I manage to fall for a guy who loved this mush? I must have been pretty desperate!" And then I recalled that indeed I had been.

At least the marriage had lasted 'till death do us part' [five years], unlike my first husband who parted for a tiny young number in red, that i found in his bed, and I'm glad to report slipped out of it two months later, when the balance in his pension fund plunged way below zero.

What worries me now is that with three marriages turning in their graves, i don't know if I'd get to choose the one I'll have in my next birth. Will all three of them follow me there too? And even if I get to choose...very frankly, I don't think I'd want to pick one of the husbands I already have had. I would not make the same mistake twice even if i were brain dead.

May be I could piece different parts of them that I like together... Now there is a thought. With all the techno gadgetry and advances in biotechnology, they ought to be able to pull such a stunt by now. Wouldn't they? Or even better. Why not just let me pick a whole new number. One that's thoughtful, sensitive and caring even after the vows are said.

LOL...Who am I kidding?

I think i'll get a cat.


pvashwin said...

Letting the creative juice flow huh?!? Nice! Keep it flowing!

and... y do i get the feeling that the translation was meant specifically for me! or am I becoming a narcist?

You talk of mush and how the lady hates it! Interesting! :P

nakul said...

the poor cat..

nakul said...

y dont u disable the "owner approval" thingy. no one is going to post explicit comments

P.Shivram said...

My first question would be : With which husband(numerical wise) did the old lady have that daughter?
I wonder why you wrote such a bizarre plot.. I hope you get married only once or I guess you should just get four cats! :P
It was a funny one.. and they do hip replacement surgeries? Men need it more than women do :D
You did throw some importance on the choices you make in life. Marriage is the most important one. It is better not to get carried away by momentary pleasures and wait till you actually find the true mate. Some are lucky the first time itself :)

Ramya said...

LOL... best solution ever Fa. Keep it going babes.